WHO statistics are inexorable; at the end of the first decade of the 2000s, more than 90% of men drink. Wives almost always face the husband’s alcoholism, but at the same time the woman herself has little effect on the bad habit of the missus. Although there are enough accusations against him. This is a kind of tactic of an alcoholic trying to justify himself and to find an excuse to drink.
If a husband drinks, only a properly developed woman’s behavior strategy will help.
Alcohol addiction factors
Only an alcoholic DNA that carries the genes of innate craving for ethanol can be conditionally justified. This is what the disease called "alcoholism" is, a different interpretation is unacceptable, so the husband is trying to justify himself in the eyes of others, posing as a disease lifestyle, habit, psychological immaturity and his own weaknesses. To successfully combat the addiction of a drinking husband, you need to understand the reason for turning to a bottle.
List of reasons alcoholic husbands come up with:
- relaxation. A man drinks alcohol as an antidepressant that gives peace;
- promotion. Drinking a pile is not a sin as praise for labor;
- avoidance of problems. It is wrong to believe that troubles can be drowned in wine; avoiding reality in alcoholic nirvana does not contribute to their solution;
- lack of attention (or understanding) from the wife. A very "transparent" reason, at the level of the phrase "you respect me." In fact, the drunk justifies his chronic addiction, seeks a reason to attach to the bottle and hides laziness, infantilism, spiritual emptiness;
- low self-esteem. Partially, alcohol allows you to relax, gives your husband the opportunity to become brave, socially active, adapted in society;
- for company. The environment forms a bad habit, therefore alcoholic friends are a direct way to the fall of the husband;
- soul crisis. Ethanol is not a medicine or a way to overcome emotional experiences.
The wife should remember that her behavior is not the reason pushing her husband to the bottle. In very rare cases, a man can “break down” due to pressure, humiliation from a woman and her relatives. And then, when it is impossible to leave!
Lack of respect, affection, unrecognized genius is also not a reason for chronic drunkenness. A self-sufficient and self-confident man will always find a way out and overcome existing family and personal problems.
Rules of conduct with her husband-drunk
The wife’s actions should not be based on the goal of satisfying the drunkard by indulging his habits.
Everything is based on self-defense and the protection of the physical and mental health of children in order to protect themselves and them from the unmotivated aggression of the drunk.
This “military” tactic is necessary before deciding whether to get a divorce or to lead a husband for coding.
Correct behavior
At stages 2-3 of alcohol addiction, exhorting, scolding, persuading is not only useless, but also dangerous. The brain of a drunkard is subject to degradation, most of the brain cells die and it is not capable of perceiving simple things adequately. Information is processed slowly, under the influence of ethanol, the brain regions responsible for assessing the situation, socialization, die.
Important! The wife’s discontent, reproaches are perceived by the drunkard as a threat, a provocation. To make claims “in a voice”, to insult, call names - is dangerous, the reaction of the drunk will be unpredictable. He can leave or take up a knife in order to protect himself (protect) from the "danger" that the inflamed consciousness sends him.
Ways of behavior:
- Categorically.
Do not humiliate, do not compare, do not make fun of. Never try to arouse guilt by pointing to the virtues of other men. At the 3 stages of alcoholism, one of the symptoms is pathological jealousy, coupled with vindictiveness, aggression, this explosive mixture results in the destruction of the home, stress in children, and in the worst case, in the article of the criminal code (Article 119 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation).
- Set aside complaints.
Very rarely, a woman marries a chronic alcoholic. Often she herself gradually accustoms her husband to alcohol, convening parties, encouraging daily beer. If the future husband drinks in guys, then there is no need to complain that he became an alcoholic in marriage. You can complain about your own indiscretion, despite the alarming calls.
- Solve problems inside.
The intervention of family and friends can provoke aggression in the drinker. He will take out the anger on his wife and children and go to seek support from drinking companions.
A wife should not threaten her husband with a divorce if she does not plan this. The inaction of the spouse will only provoke a surge of binges, so the drunk will affirm his superiority over her and emphasize the confidence that she will endure and will not leave. In fact, it is a response measure of influence on the "unreasonable" wife, who dared to think of leaving her husband in his "sorrow".
Women's mistakes
Wife can’t take responsibility for fines, defeat and damage of other people's property, lack of money in the family! Dismissal from work, debts, fights and drives to the police - all this is her husband’s choice, so you should let him solve problems in moments of sobriety. Impunity is permission to keep on drinking!
Sympathy, the offering of a glass in the morning at the time of a severe hangover does not allow her husband to realize all the charms of withdrawal symptoms and develop a persistent aversion to alcohol. Strengthening withdrawal symptoms is the essence of all codings against alcoholism! And stopping unpleasant symptoms is a provocation of a new round of binges.
Important! Keep alcohol in the house, encourage gatherings with beer, and even more so drink together a priori! Do not provoke your husband with scandals, for a drunkard, a cry is like a red rag for a bull, a signal for an attack. How this will end is difficult to predict.
How to help quit
The fight against her husband’s drunkenness begins at stage 1 of the glass; conversations will not help at the 2-3 stages of alcoholism. Difficulties also arise at the 1st stage of psychological dependence on alcohol, and with great alcohol experience only treatment and coding are effective.
Psychologist's advice! The wife first of all has to decide for herself whether it is worth spending time, health and money to avert her husband from drinking. In 98% of cases, this ends with nothing. Years of life with an alcoholic can be replaced by the formation of a new one, without drinking bouts, scandals and threats.
