Great Lent is coming and on its eve the Orthodox celebrate the Forgiveness Sunday - the last day of the olive week.
Many people know about the existence of such a holiday, but not everyone knows the significance of this holiday, and even more so, how to properly apologize and forgive on Forgiveness Sunday.
Forgiveness Sunday - what is it?
The last day before Lent is called Forgiveness Sunday. This is a holiday that concludes the long preparatory period for the most rigorous fasting. For the Orthodox, this is the most significant day, because without the forgiveness of those who offended and reconciliation with enemies, reconciliation with God is impossible. This is perhaps the kindest holiday. He personifies the main value inherent in the Orthodox religion: the ability to leave grudges and not hold anyone bad.
Forgiveness Sunday reminds us of the day when Adam and Eve were expelled from paradise. This is an occasion to remind people of what disobedience and selfishness lead to.
The tradition of asking for forgiveness on Palm Sunday comes from the ancient monks of Egypt. They spent the entire Great Lent in the wilderness to retire there for prayer. And not everyone returned from solitude. Therefore, the monks, as before retiring, they asked each other for forgiveness.
Forgiven Sunday falls on the last day of Shrovetide, which is why it is called "cheese". This is the last day when you can eat junk food. But on this day meat and meat products are no longer eaten.
Forgiveness Sunday is a special day that requires the believer to do a lot of work on himself. On this day, you must not only go to confession in the temple, but also ask for forgiveness from those whom you have ever offended. And you need to do this so that the person to whom you offended forgive you wholeheartedly.
In Tsarist Russia, this holiday was given great importance. On this day, the emperor himself asked for forgiveness from his subjects. He did this personally: visiting soldiers' barracks and monasteries.
It is very important that you yourself find the strength to sincerely forgive those who ask you for forgiveness. Therefore, it is very important to know how to properly apologize and forgive on Forgiveness Sunday.
After all, the salvation that every Orthodox aspires to is possible only when a person has no desire to avenge on his heart or guilt for his actions that destroy his soul.
What cannot be done on Forgiveness Sunday
It is customary for us to celebrate the end of Shrovetide in a big way, with dances and songs, and in some regions they even have fist fights. However, the Orthodox Church does not approve of such fun. Burning scarecrows and jumping over a bonfire are customs that have come from our pagan ancestors.
According to the charter of the Orthodox Church, every believer should gradually tune into a fast-food week or Pancake week, leaving earthly joys and calming the soul. This is a period of peace and quiet. The time for forgiveness of insults, so it is very important to reconcile with everyone to whom you hurt.
The Orthodox Church gives a whole week to prepare for reconciliation. So that a person can recover from spiritual wounds and forgive insults. Forgiveness Sunday is a good reason to destroy hostility. On this day, you cannot ignore requests for forgiveness, much less delay reconciliation. You cannot be at peace with God without having peace with people.
How to apologize correctly: to whom and how to contact
Unfortunately, asking forgiveness on Forgiveness Sunday has become a kind of tradition for many, such as "bathing in the ice hole at Epiphany" or "consecrating Easter cakes." Many ask for forgiveness on this day simply because it is necessary, and not because a person is really aware of his guilt. This, of course, is hypocrisy.
Forgiveness Sunday is another opportunity to pay attention to your loved ones. It is them we most often offend. Not necessarily a rude word, sometimes just inattention or indifference. Having offended, we think: “we need to apologize”, but for vanity and haste we forget to do it.
Forgiveness Sunday is a day when you need to stop, look back on past days and remember who and what offended us. Indeed, good relations with people who are dear to us are a great value. Human life is short, and you should not spend these precious minutes on quarrels and insults.
In the morning, after the rule of prayer, ask for forgiveness from your loved ones. It is better to ask for forgiveness for something specific: rudeness, paid little attention or refused help. The general phrase “forgive me for everything” is almost the same as saying in a confession “sinful in everything.” In either case, there will hardly be real repentance. Therefore, if you know what specifically offended a person, ask for forgiveness for this very reason.
But often we can offend a person without even noticing it. Say something rude, shrug off a request for help, or even just an awkward look. Therefore, you need to ask for forgiveness from all your friends.
Before you ask for forgiveness, try to stop and recall those moments when you were wrong. A person should humbly apologize by saying: "Forgive me if I offended intentionally or unintentionally."
On this day, the elders are the first to apologize to the younger, and the bosses to the subordinates. It is very important that you visit your elderly relatives that day to ask them for forgiveness. After all, these people at any moment can go into eternal life, having a grudge in their hearts, and this cannot be allowed.
Particular attention should be paid to those with whom you are in a quarrel. After all, it is from them that it is the most difficult to ask for forgiveness. It’s always easy to offend, but the first to apologize, even if you’re wrong, is very difficult. But this is the meaning of the holiday to measure your pride. For humility is the main enemy of pride.
Forgiveness is requested not only from the living, but also from the dead. To do this, visit the graves of those who can no longer be seen. After all, often, it is only when we lose a loved one, we begin to understand how much we have caused him insults.
How to forgive on Sunday forgiveness: what to say to those who ask for forgiveness
It is customary to answer the request for forgiveness on this holiday: “God will forgive, and I forgive,” thereby you testify that the Lord has forgiven for repentance, and you do not hold back evil.
Asking for forgiveness, we do not wait for a trial or want to find out why this happened, but we admit that we have offended and sincerely regret our actions. The answer “God will forgive” means that we are all sinners, and only the Lord can judge us.
To forgiveness does not become hypocrisy, you need to distinguish between two facets of forgiveness - the desire that God forgive the offender and your personal forgiveness. For example, someone offended you and asks for your forgiveness, but you do not have the strength to forgive (although you understand that this is wrong). But at the same time, you know that if this person repents, God will forgive him, and saying: “God will forgive”, you wish him this sincerely.
If I’m honestly answering the request for forgiveness of a person whom you cannot forgive yet: “Because of my weakness, I still can’t forgive you, but I sincerely ask God to forgive you.” Such an answer will bring you closer than the hypocritical “Forgive”. And of course, you need to work harder on yourself in order to overcome your pride and forgive a person.
Another important point. When you come to ask for forgiveness, you should be prepared for the fact that a person will not be able to forgive you right away. The main thing here is not to fall into despair, but to patiently treat the feelings of another person. Time will pass, and he will forgive you for sure. No need to think: "so I went to meet him, and he rejected me so and so," otherwise it would mean that you did not forgive anyone, but engaged in self-deception.
Is it necessary to forgive forgiveness in the church: with whom and with what words
In church, the day begins in the evening, so the first service of Lent is Vespers of Forgiveness Sunday. Fasting begins with this service, and services become longer. On this day, the rite of forgiveness is performed, through which a person gets the opportunity to begin fasting, cleansing his soul of insults and omissions, so that during fasting calmly focus on your relationship with God.
After the service, the clergyman of the church addresses the parishioners with a sermon, at the end of which the first apologizes to the people. The abbot of the church comes out with a cross, and believers take turns approaching him, and then to other parishioners with the words "Forgive me." At the same time, answering this: "God will forgive, and I forgive."
And even if you rarely go to the temple, and you don’t know anyone there, you still need to visit this service to begin your repentance, asking for forgiveness from the priest.
Go to the memorial table, light a candle and mentally ask for forgiveness from your deceased friends or loved ones whom you once offended. Attach to the holy icons. It is advisable to confess on this day in order to be completely cleansed and to fast with a pure heart.
We have no right to judge anyone, only the Lord can do this, so let us be merciful and forgive everyone our insults from a pure heart, for we are all not without sin.
