The desire to have children is the most natural need of the female body, which is inherent in nature itself.
After 25 years, the girl seriously thinks about the continuation of the offspring, which can not be said about a man. More than 90% of the stronger sex initially did not want to become fathers.
Interesting fact
Do you know that only 7% of men consciously want to become fathers? This is inversely proportional to 7% of women who have no maternal instinct and no desire to have children.
After the couple becomes a family, the question arises about the birth of a joint child. Often a young woman is faced with the reluctance of a chosen one to have children. On this basis, a serious conflict arises, which can lead to a rupture of relations.
To prevent this, let's find out the reasons why husbands do not want to have children, and what to do in this situation.
The main reasons why the husband does not want children
A person is a socially free person who can hardly be persuaded or threatened to incline to anything. But many women of a different opinion, therefore, in every way try to convince a man of the correctness of his point of view. This does not always end well. To do so is absurd and it is worthwhile to look for other measures to solve the problem.
First of all it is important to understand and find out the true reason for not wanting to become a father, and then try to eliminate it.
The most common causes are:
- unwillingness to create a serious relationship;
- uncertainty in his companion;
- housing and financial insolvency;
- unwillingness to burden yourself with responsibilities;
- the desire to live "in his own pleasure";
- psychological unavailability;
- jealousy of the child.
Underlying these causes is fear associated with one’s own ego.
What to do if the husband does not want children because of jealousy of the unborn child
A man acquires a family first of all in order to feel the warmth and comfort that his mother gave him as a child. In adulthood, family comfort is provided by the chosen one. The idea that they will stop caring about him, as before, with the advent of a new small family member, simply scares the partner. At a subconscious level, he perceives the future baby as a rival. This problem is very serious in couples where the husband loves his wife very much and does not want to share with anyone. He also beware that spouses move away from each other with the appearance of the newborn.
In this case, you may need the help of a psychologist, who will clarify that the child is the fruit of love and will only strengthen the marriage bond. If the husband refuses the help of a specialist, you often talk to yourself about this topic.
Best of all, if the conversations will take place in an intimate atmosphere and unobtrusively. Here, the main thing is not to overdo it. Tell him that you want a child from him, and in no case do not ask questions like: "Why do not you want children?". You should smoothly bring the partner to this conversation and watch his reaction. More often say you love him. Mention how good it will be if you have a baby and how you will take care of the two of them.
What to do if the husband does not want children because of psychological unavailability
Men who are psychologically unprepared to become fathers are equal to 7% of women who lack maternal instinct. Perhaps your husband is a psychologically immature person. He himself becomes the child who needs your caress and care for him.
Everything suits the partner in the relationship, and he believes that the third in the pair will be superfluous. The spouse wants to live freely, without burdening himself with duties and responsibilities. In this case, the woman will need great patience and the ability to wait. But it’s not easy to sit and think when the moment of a husband’s “maturity” comes. It should gently hint the beloved about how you see your future life together in three, and ask what he thinks about it. If a partner responds adequately to the appearance of a child in the future, then everything is in order, and he really just needs a little time to come to the realization of his readiness to become a father.
Walk more often with him in the parks, near the playgrounds, where there are many children. There surely there will be fathers who walk with their babies. It will be great if in your surroundings there is a married couple with a child. Invite your parents along with the little one when the husband is at home. The partner should have a picture that a family without children is considered inferior and meaningless.
Perhaps a deeper reason comes from childhood. Suppose your spouse did not grow up in a prosperous family and is afraid that he will be a bad parent. In this case, act on the same principle as described above. A man should see a good example from the outside.
Do not forget to praise him more often and say that he will make a wonderful father.
What to do if the husband does not want children because of financial distress
Bad housing conditions, insufficient finances - the most common excuses for men. The task of a woman is to convince her husband that these problems are completely solvable. For now you will be engaged in their elimination - the kid will grow up.
But perhaps the real reason for such excuses lies in the psychological unavailability.
If financial problems and housing issues are true causes, then a woman should not worry. Sit together and talk about what you could do right now to correct the situation, what measures you can take to improve the future, where you will be at least three.
What to do if a man does not want children because of the reluctance to create a serious relationship
In our time, civil marriages are far from uncommon. Spouses do not want to burden themselves with official ties. In reality, the situation is as follows: a common-law husband is not in a hurry with painting and is trying to convince his partner that these are conservative views on relationships. Any girl, woman seeks to continue offspring, so if she lives with a man, then she wants to start a family with him and have children.
A couple living in a civil marriage not the first year, as a rule, has no children. The exception is when a woman becomes pregnant by accident.
This is due to the uncertainty of the man in his choice, and he doubts that he will live with his companion all his life. Despite all her ardent love for her chosen one, a woman should understand that time is running out forever, and you shouldn’t delay the registration of serious relationships and the birth of a child.
If a man is not ready to marry officially, then joint children are out of the question. The only advice in this situation is to think carefully if you need such a person. Discuss all these questions with your half. If he really loves and values you, he will be ready to move to a new level in the relationship.
The husband does not want children, because he is afraid of responsibility. What to do?
Probably, your husband heard from friends about sleepless nights, the eternal weeping of a small, dirty diapers, and this is somewhat alarming him to have his children. He is afraid of the upcoming duties, responsibilities, because he will have to help his wife. A man is not ready for this, since initially he has no paternity instinct. He appears in the stronger sex only when a baby appears, but not always.
In this case, you should resort to the help of his parents. Perhaps a conversation with them, as it will calm the partner, will help him decide. Most likely, it will work, and the beloved will no longer be so frightened by the thought of his own child.
But if this method did not help, sit down and talk openly with your husband, what exactly is he afraid of. After you have figured out the reason, you should discuss the pros and cons. On an intuitive level, you will surely find the right answers that dissipate the fears of the husband.
It is very important that conversations on the topic of a future child take place in a benevolent and calm atmosphere. With shouts and reproaches you can hardly achieve anything, and you will only frighten a man more and aggravate the situation.
What to do if the husband does not want a second child
The family has the firstborn, but the woman soon wants a second child. If a man is already a happy father, this does not mean at all that he is ready to become him a second time.
The reasons for reluctance remain the same:
- not enough money;
- sleepless nights;
- double responsibility.
The spouse may be afraid that you may pull another child due to instability in the material situation. In this case, the man should explain that the first time you should not worry about it, since a lot of things are left of the first baby. Assure the husband that you will help in every way to earn money for the family, find a suitable employment option after the children grow up. Your conversations should convince your husband that one child in the family is not enough.
Draw together rainbow pictures of the future, where you have a large, friendly family, and children are your support and support.
If the reason is that the spouse has not yet departed from the first experience in the role of father and sleepless nights, perhaps you should wait a bit and not traumatize with statements about your desire.
What not to do if the husband does not want children
Women are inherently emotional beings, and most often their actions are governed by expressive impulses, rather than cold logic.
After it became clear that the husband does not want children, and you are eager to become a mother, try to calm down, take a deep breath and transfer the conversation to another time.
Here is most common list of errorswhich should not be allowed if the husband does not want children:
- to arrange tantrums and scandals;
- threaten;
- get pregnant in secret;
- openly impose their desire;
- be silent and save offense inside.
Elucidation of relations in high tones, the statement of reproaches have never led to anything good. This method is useless to prove anything. You will only piss off your partner and affirm your own opinion in the rightness.
Remember! Your main goal is to convince your husband, not push him away and annoy him.
The most common mistake of women is to become pregnant secretly from the husband, and in the last months to surprise the future daddy. Such tactics will not lead to anything good. Perhaps some news and bring joy, but it will simply scare many, or even outraged. This can cause the family to break up. Men do not like this kind of surprises. They prefer when they are consulted.
If you once tried to talk with your spouse on the subject of the appearance of the child, and he spoke sharply and reacted negatively, do not hide the insult and close this topic forever. Do not be silent, because over time this can turn into a serious problem, and lead to mutual accusations and reproaches.
Never start a conversation if you feel that you cannot calmly respond to critical words and excuses. Do not try to openly persuade or argue. Agree with the husband, respect him, say that he may be right, but ... smoothly and gently "bend your line." Perhaps the ice will break and the day will come when the husband himself declares that he wants a child from you.
What to do if the husband does not want children. Summing up
The desire to have a child comes to a woman on a subconscious level. A man approaches this issue consciously, from a rational point of view. Therefore, you should not expect from your spouse that he will immediately agree with you. He needs time to think it over and weigh it. The task of the woman is to help him and push him to the right decision.
The main thing in the family is trust. Only in this case you will be able to find out the true reason why the husband does not want children yet. More often you talk with your half, share your thoughts, plans for the future. Tell us how you see your family in a year, five years. Discuss all the details and details related to your family, and do not forget to ask about the wishes of her husband.
But, sadly, sometimes there are such individuals among the male sex who are categorically opposed to the appearance of a child. It does not help any conversations with experts, or your arguments. In this case, it is up to you to decide what you most want: to sacrifice the happiness of motherhood and stay with this person or try to arrange your personal life with a partner who has healthy concepts about the family.
Children are a building material and a link in family relationships.
Remember this. A couple who does not have a child, in most cases, breaks up, as it loses the development of further relations and common goals.
